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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673361">Unexpectedly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/withwords/pseuds/withwords'>withwords</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>In another life [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Mutual Pining, POV First Person, Self-Indulgent, sooooo self-indulgent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:06:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/withwords/pseuds/withwords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She was so beautiful. A literal ray of sunshine that stood out against the cloudy, murky background of the entertainment industry. </p>
<p>And I was falling for her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Female Character/Original Female Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>In another life [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940821</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unexpectedly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on the Korean variety show "I Live Alone" where celebrities come together on Friday nights to watch footage from selected celebrities' everyday lives, both in and our of their homes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"I'm a Bon Jovi fan too!" she exclaimed excitedly, clasping her hand in mine after seeing the clip of me belting out to You Give Love A Bad Name in my car while driving home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We quickly turned back to face the screen as we continued to watch the video, a small smile still on her lips. She looked so serene and peaceful. A total one-eighty from what I was feeling. My heart started pounding when she grasped my hand and it was still racing hard against my ribcage even after the moment had passed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A moment? Did we have a moment? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I stopped myself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was wrong with me? Why was I even reacting this way? I felt a strange warmth rise up within me and I could guess that my cheeks were probably slightly flushed. I took a peek at her, eyes quickly glancing to the side before looking forward again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was so beautiful. A literal ray of sunshine that stood out against the cloudy, murky background of the entertainment industry. She was constantly brimming with positivity and she carried it with an air of innocence that bordered on naivety. It was what made me so apprehensive about her in the beginning. No one was </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> joyful. But she was. She truly was. Her authenticity could be felt as the episodes progressed. Not just from the video clips but from our interactions off screen as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since the new members orientation camp episode, we've become closer. At first, we had clung together because we were the only two girls in the team that were of similar ages. But over the course of the day, we had really bonded during the breaks in filming. We stuck together like glue, talking about random hobbies and favourite foods while waiting for filming to resume again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes were focused on the screen now but I could barely process what was happening in the clip. All I could think of was how her hands had felt in mine. Even in that brief moment, the sensation was etched in my mind. Her palm was soft and slightly cold in the chilly room of the recording studio. A stark contrast to my own hands that were always a little hotter than others. I wondered if she noticed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was getting ridiculous. Why couldn't I focus?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the recording passed in a blur and I could barely remember the conversations that went on after that. I just wanted to get home. Maybe I was acting so weird because of the lack of sleep. Or hunger. Maybe. Frowning as I tried to shake off the weird feeling, I dumped the recording outfit into my duffel bag as I tugged a huge white hoodie over my head and pulled on some sweats. Without the scratchy denim against my skin, I was starting to feel a little bit better already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey," I was just about to leave the studio when I heard a familiar voice call out to me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, hey </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnie.</span>
  </em>
  <span>" I turned around, seeing her dressed in her casual clothing as well, not a lick of makeup on her face. She was even more beautiful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You alright? You kind of zoned out towards the end there." She said with a furrow to her brow. Oh God, she was legitimately concerned. Not to mention she had actually noticed the little changes to my mood and behaviour. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stop. I mentally slapped myself. You're reading too much into this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh yeah! I'm great!" I chucked awkwardly, slowly turning red with embarrassment and nerves. "I guess I still haven't adapted to the weird filming hours after being away for so long."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I gulped. It was a lie. My body had long accepted the nocturnal schedules of the entertainment industry even with a two month break but I couldn't tell her the real reason I was distracted, could I? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm so glad you're back though!" She smiled her million watt smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I really missed you. I mean-" She stuttered, arms twisting sort of awkwardly as she tried to find her words. Oh my God, was she shy? I tried to tamper my expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She cleared her throat gently before continuing. "I haven't seen you since the orientation camp and I thought- we were- sort of-</span>
  <span> becoming closer friends? I just missed hanging out with you I guess."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My face was positively flaming as I babbled out an, "I really missed you too!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes widened a little at the volume of my voice before she started chuckling. God, why was I so awkward around her! We were fine during camp, why was this happening now!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Glad we're on the same page then." She said with a twinkle in her eyes. "I was thinking we could go grab a meal. You know, catch up and stuff."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Now?" I blurted, surprised by her sudden suggestion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well, if you want. The long recording session left me starving and I guessed maybe you would be too?" She sounded so small and uncertain. "You don't have to tho-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No!" I burst out with my hands stretched towards her as if they wanted to stop her from physically leaving. "I mean- yes! I mean! I would love to grab a bite now."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>God, why was I so embarrassing! Would the ground please open and swallow me up? I would be so grateful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't seem to mind at all though. "Great! Let's go!" Her blinding smile was back as she hooked her arm around mine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As my heart started racing again and a myriad of confusing feelings churned in my stomach, I knew I was in for a long, long night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, where do you wanna eat?" I asked as we walked to our respective cars. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm, I was thinking… my place? You mentioned you really liked the </span>
  <em>
    <span>galbi-jjim</span>
  </em>
  <span> I made during camp and I do have the ingredients at home soooo…?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt that tugging in my chest again. "Aw you don't have it. You must be tired after a long day of recording and you're already starving! I don't mind grabbing something quick."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, no, I insist! It's not hard, really. And we should celebrate your return. You deserve some good food!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was powerless to deny her. "Okay, if you're sure. And… thank you. For thinking of me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm always thinking of you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tripped. She said it so casually. So naturally. Like she didn't just drop a bomb on me. I wanted to ask, but I didn't know what to say. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Here, I'll give you my address and we can meet at my house." She continued, totally oblivious to my inner turmoil. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"O-Okay. See you in a bit." I choked out, turning to walk towards my own car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The drive to her house felt ridiculously long yet short at the same time. Before I knew it, I was turning into her apartment building's parking lot. My thoughts were still a mess but I’ve ran out of time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had already parked but was still sitting in her car, giving a bright smile when she saw my car turn in. She gave a little wave and pointed to the empty lot next to her excitedly. It was getting close to two in the morning now but her energy was infectious. I reversed into the lot quickly and hopped out of my car. The cold winter air sent a shiver down my spine as I wrapped my arms around myself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Come on! We'll have to take the stairs as you know. Sorry about that." She rounded my car and linked her arms around mine again. Had she always been this touchy? I mused but it wasn’t like I minded much. Her touch lit a fire in me that was terrifying yet comforting at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This'll take about an hour to cook so just make yourself comfortable!" She said with her head stuck in the refrigerator, taking the ingredients out for the </span>
  <em>
    <span>galbi-jjim </span>
  </em>
  <span>and placing them on the kitchen counter in a neat row.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sat myself down on her futon sofa and glanced around the living room. It was an odd feeling being at her house. Everything looked so familiar, after seeing it for so many weeks on screen. But now that I was seeing it with my own two eyes, everything looked brand now. Nostalgic but foreign at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked up at the rattan ceiling light she had changed in the very first episode of the show. She had been so happy with herself after she replaced her old, dull white lights with this warm orangey-toned one. It was something so simple but it had brought her such happiness. It made life itself seem so simple; small moments of joy that made everything else bearable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took a moment to bask in the warmth of her cosy living room before standing up to make my way to the kitchen. Her back was turned to me as she chopped up the vegetables for the stew. She looked so soft and warm that I had the sudden, unexplainable need to wrap my arms around her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I clenched my fists and quickly walked over to her before I could do anything rash. My emotions were all over the place today. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Need any help?" I asked as I stood next to her, keeping a safe distance between us. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, it's alright. I'm mostly done with the prep. We just need to let it stew now. You should sit down. Have a rest, you must be tired."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ay how can I laze around when you're here whipping up a feast for the both of us."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her laughter was like windchimes as she poked me lightly in the ribs. "It's hardly a feast! And you're not lazing! It's called resting."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll rest when you do. In the meantime, I can just watch. Maybe I'll even pick up some tips on how to cook."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sure." She smiled to herself as she continued mincing the garlic. I could feel my own smile on my lips as well. Things with her were so easy. So simple. Like breathing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We stood side by side in comfortable silence for another ten minutes before we put everything into a large pot to let the beef stew for an hour. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There! Now, we wait." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Maybe you should eat something in the meantime, </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnie</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You were starving earlier." I looked at her worriedly. She was slightly taller than me but yet she was way skinnier. Sometimes it worried me that she wasn't eating enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's alright. We can have some snacks while waiting." She grabbed some rice puff snacks and poured them into a bowl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We moved to the living room and she placed the bowl of snacks on a foldable table and pulled out a fluffy floor cushion for herself as she gestured for me to sit on the futon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, how has your holiday been? Other than spending your early mornings at </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hangang</span>
  </em>
  <span>." The episode only showed a small section of how I had spent my last two months, mostly curated to show the interesting bits. But it was true that over the holidays I had taken a liking to spending my mornings at Hangang, when sun had barely risen and the city was still asleep. The sense of peace it created was addictive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I actually went back to visit my parents in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jeonju</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I stayed there for about a month before coming back to prepare for the shift to the new apartment."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s nice! To be able to spend time with your parents again.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was. My mum cooked all my favourite dishes and I ate so much!” I chuckled at the fond memory. It had been so long since I went back to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jeonju </span>
  </em>
  <span>for more than a week and my parents were understandably overly ecstatic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure you ate them all,” she teased. “Oh and congrats on your new apartment! I’m glad it has better security than your previous place.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too. And the patio really is my favourite place in the house. It’s so peaceful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what you mean.” She said wistfully as she turned to look at her own rooftop terrace. “I would have suggested we eat out there but I think the weather is a little too cold tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s alright. Here is nice too.” I assured her. It really didn’t matter to me where we ate when it was the company that made all the difference. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. There’s always next time anyway.” She replied easily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next time? It made my heart skip a beat again so I quickly changed the topic, lest I make a fool of myself. “So how have you been, </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnie</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I haven’t seen you in a while either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m on a break too. I’m in between dramas right now and the filming for the next one isn’t for another two weeks. Definitely not as long of a break as yours but I’m enjoying the free time anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded along as she spoke. “Nice. You should go to Hangang for a walk too. It’s a nice place to clear your head and get some fresh air.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she spoke again, she had a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I wouldn’t want to bump into you and some mysterious man at four in the morning.” She said while wiggling her eyebrows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ay </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnie </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t tease. I really do spend my time there alone. Besides, I’m not seeing anyone right now.” Haven’t been for a while actually. But she didn’t need to know that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? But anyone would be lucky to have you!” She looked offended on my behalf. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adorable. But I laughed it off. “Yes, really. The idol life doesn’t really leave any room for romance and with the paparazzi running circles around me, it’s just easier to not date, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mm yeah, I guess so.” She looked contemplative. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you? Anyone special in your life right now?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answer but I had to ask. I held my breath as I waited for her reply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually... There is someone.” Her voice was barely a whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh God. My heart clenched painfully as I struggled to muster up some false excitement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oooh </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnie</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Who is it! Is it a dashing actor you met on set?” I tried my best to appear happy for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, she looked up, gaze piercing into my soul. I could feel the hesitance behind her eyes and I quickly backtracked. “Ah sorry that was intrusive of me. You don’t have to tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just that…” She took a deep breath to calm herself. What was going on? It was unlike her to be so nervous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s… not a he. It’s a she.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I felt my jaw drop as my brain went into overdrive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She must have mistaken my lack of response as rejection and moved to turn away. My hand shot out and grabbed her forearm hurriedly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m sorry. I was surprised, that’s all. I’m happy for you. Really. And I don’t mind. We love whoever we love, right?” I minded, but not for the reasons she probably thought I did. The idea that she was dating someone left like a knife to my chest. But knowing that it was a woman… It made me feel strangely bereft. Like a missed opportunity. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I mentally shook my head. I don’t even like her that way… Did I? I looked up to meet her gaze, which had softened into something indecipherable. Her kind-hearted eyes twinkled in the soft warm light and- Oh God. I did. I did like her. That way. I felt my breath catch as my whole world tipped on its axis. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I liked her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And I was too late. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure you’re okay with it?” A sliver of uncertainty seeped into her expression again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course!” I was quick to assure her, pushing the hurt and heartbreak into a box in the cavity of my chest. I would unpack it later when I got home, where I was free to feel the feelings I feel and not have to hide my expressions from her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnie</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You deserve to be happy. So... how long have you been together?” At this point, I was a certified masochist, but at least I would know who to direct my glares at. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! No, we aren’t together. I don’t think she even knows how I feel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh. That changes things. But still, I felt a surge of jealousy rise up within me. Who was this woman? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you intend to tell her?” My curiosity got the better of me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No… I don’t think so. I don’t think she sees me that way at all.” The furrow between her eyebrows deepened. I had to resist the urge to smooth it out with my thumb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never know. I mean, any woman who rejects you would be an idiot.” I said sincerely. Because truly, that woman would be an idiot. </span>
</p>
<p><span>She let out a soft chuckle and patted my hand. “Thank you for thinking so highly of me but she’s amazing.</span> <span>I don’t think I’m anything special next to her.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“Nonsense!” I was bordering on anger now. Who was this woman to make her think so lowly of herself. She was light in a dark world and I was going to make her see it. No matter how much convincing it took. “I don’t know this other woman but I know you. And I know that you are the definition of everything that is good in this world. The way you love and care for the people around you without expecting anything in return. The way you put others before yourself. And the way you constantly try to better yourself is inspirational!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was out of breath by the time I finished my little spiel and the embarrassment of my outburst was starting to catch up to me. But I refused to take back my words. She needed to know how amazing she was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the course of our conversation, we had both leaned into the table, our faces barely inches from each other’s. The sudden realisation made me flinch and I wanted to retreat out of her personal space again but our eyes locked and the look on her face halted all of my movement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shifted even closer and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, her fingers grazing my jawline as they moved. My breath hitched as I caught her dropping her eyes to my lips and then back up again. She leaned in and my whole world stopped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” It slipped out without my permission.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of my voice seemed to break her out of her own trance-like state and it was like reality snapped back into place for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-” she started, the look of horror clear as day on her face as she shot up to an upright position. “I- I think the stew is done!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a blink, she was gone. And I was too stunned to chase after her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Me? She liked </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>? It was impossible. Why would someone like her like </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Nothing made sense. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stood up and was about to make my way to the kitchen when she walked back with a tray of food in her hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>galbi-jjim</span>
  </em>
  <span> is done. You must be starving. Thank you for waiting. Let’s eat.” She rushed out, actively avoiding my eyes as she placed the tray on the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before she had the chance to sit down, I grabbed her arm to stop her. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Unnie</span>
  </em>
  <span>, please…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look of anguish on her face as she turned to face me broke my heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Her voice trembled as her eyes turned misty. “I’m so sorry. Can we just forget this ever happened? I just want us to remain friends. I slipped. It won’t happen again.” She angled her face downwards again, refusing to meet my eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn't believe it. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> like me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was unimaginable but yet. Here we are. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a shaky breath, I lifted my hands and gently cupped her face with my palms as I tilted her face up slowly. I could still hear her small sniffles. I don’t think I’ve ever stood so close to her before. I could see her long, dark lashes clumped together with unshed tears and a faint blush across her cheekbones. She felt delicate and undeniably precious beneath my palms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was my turn to be brave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I leaned closer. Time slowed down as I planted a soft, barely-there kiss at the corner of her lips. I heard a sharp intake of breath as her eyes snapped open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Unnie…</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please, don't." She choked out, devastation marring her features. "I don't need your pity."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's not pity," I said resolutely. She let out a soft, self-deprecating scoff as she wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It really isn't." I tried again. "It's because my heart leaps out of my chest whenever you hold my hand. It's because I can't seem to look away whenever you smile so wide your eyes disappear. When it's directed at me, it feels like I can't breathe. It's because I miss you when you're not around and I'm always thinking about you even when you're next to me. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> you, and it's not pity."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked up, the previous look of anguish replaced by growing hope. Her eyes darted across my face, looking for any traces of deception. When she found none, she let out a little sob again, this time out of happiness. Her arms wound around my waist as she smashed her face into the crook of my neck, arms tightening as she pulled me closer. "I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> like you," she confessed softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The force of her movement made me wobble a little and I let out a small chuckle. Warmth surged up within me and this time I just let it happen as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and squeezed. She felt so right in my arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I really like you too."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's my first time writing from first pov (which i had sworn never to do) but it is oddly liberating.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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